In Him was life and the life was the light of men. John 1:4

If I don’t have love I am nothing. 1 Cor. 13:2

One of the most important things we can have as a believer in Jesus is a clear view of our heart. Like everything else in God, this is only available if you want it, if you want to look. Most of us don’t want to look.

We might not be consciously aware that we don’t want to look but there are ways of knowing that we don’t. Many people can’t live without constant distracting media. The TV always on, constant scrolling of social media, music streaming in the background.

Jeremiah captured the reason we don’t want to look at our hearts very well when he said it is deceitful above all else and desperately wicked, who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9)

Then God goes on to say this:

I the Lord search the heart
    and examine the mind,
to reward each person according to their conduct,
    according to what their deeds deserve.

Note the three fold engagement of God with us: Heart, Mind and Conduct.

So He starts with our heart- searching it out: “What do you really want?” He asks (John 1:38). A truthful heart will normally answer with some base need driven by a past lack or hurt. Or perhaps a resentment or grudge against someone that harmed it. Or any number of other evils (Matthew 15:18-20).

So God already knows the thoughts and intentions of your heart. When He shines His light on it and exposes your darkest thoughts and intentions it is for your sake not His.

Now the light has shone on your heart and its wickedness is exposed. What then? He examines your mind’s reaction to the thoughts and intentions of your heart. Hold that thought! (2 Cor. 10:5). This is where you decide what you really want.

The trouble with the heart is that it drives everything else whether you like it or not. Out of it flow all the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23). However our will is free so we can choose with our minds what to do with the intent of our hearts.

But really we only have one choice: Lay it before Him, trust Him with it. You may be surprised at the answer you get. God made everything good in the beginning.

As you let this happen, let him search and examine, then your conduct will change for the better. And in the end you will be rewarded based on your conduct (Matt. 25:14-30, 31-46).

But the best reward, as it turns out, is a clearer view of His heart.

One of the things that has blessed me most over the years is memorising Scripture. My latest adventure in this area is described here.

The main thing that blesses me is the time I spend hearing God and being in His presence as a result. His inward dealings go deeper as we ingest and meditate on Scripture and let it flow out of us again as rivers of living water (John 7: 37-39).

There is a technique for memorising that I learnt in secondary school which I highly recommend. If you search the Internet you will find versions of it but here is my take:

Learn a verse a day. You can learn the whole New Testament in about 20 years that way. I would recommend a good literal translation like the NAS.

1. Start by reading it out loud 10 times.
2. Test yourself to see if you know it.
3. Write it down without looking at it. Check what you have written against the verse and correct any mistakes.
4. 5 minutes later go over it again, write it down and correct it.
5. An hour later do the same.
6. A day later do the same
7. A week later do the same.
8. A month later
9. and a year later.

Then you will have it for life. I find a page a day A5 desk diary the best way of doing this.

John gazed upon Jesus as He was walking.

John 1:36

“We are designed for gazing, gazing, a lifestyle of intimacy beholding our God.

And the supreme excellence of His divinity exceeds the capacity of our customary speech for God is more truly contemplated than spoken of. And He is more real than our highest experience, greater than our greatest experience, exists more truly than He is contemplated, our God.”

Godfrey Birtill – Gazing.

John the Baptist’s gazing on Jesus led to revelation about Jesus – “Behold the Lamb of God” – and the loss of two of John’s most famous disciples to the One whose sandal he felt unworthy to untie.

To our western gentile minds at a remove of 2000 years John the Baptist doesn’t seem like such a big deal. Nevertheless John the Apostle opens the revelatory fourth gospel with a large chunk of words and actions by John the Baptist.

I think John likes John because he was like himself – self effacing. John the apostle mentions only one of the two of John the Baptist’s disciples that left him – Andrew – and we presume the other was John himself. Throughout John’s gospel he makes a lot of effort to not draw attention to himself. He is simply the disciple Jesus loved.

I want to be like John the Baptist, losing followers because they were so taken by my gazing at Jesus, and the revelation that produces, that they just wanted to follow Him instead.

According to Peter, one of the reasons we go through difficulties is to strengthen our faith (1 Peter 1:6-9).  We all go through them.  Relative to the difficulties we can read about that our brothers and sisters in Syria and Iraq endure, our difficulties can seem minor in comparison.

However whether it is saying you will not deny Christ when faced with a beheading, or a determination to continue to praise God through a cold, the principle is the same:  God hasn’t changed and His love for us poured out on the Cross can’t be undone.

We ought to praise Him anyway.

And give thanks to the Holy Spirit living within us when we can, no matter what.

I have found that, if I let Him, the Holy Spirit will always praise God no matter how I feel.  The work of faith is to cooperate with Him and let the vessel He is in resound with that praise.  No matter what.

“The heart is deceitful above all things,
And desperately wicked;
Who can know it?
¹⁰ I, the Lord, search the heart,
I test the mind,
Even to give every man according to his ways,
According to the fruit of his doings.”

Jeremiah 17:9-10

The Scripture clearly shows the connection between the heart and the mouth: “Out of the heart the mouth speaks.” (Matthew 12:34)

However often in professional situations this is not the case at least in my observations.  The constraints of professional conduct cause doctors and other professionals to speak the logical truth arising from their analyses rather than what they might think in their hearts about the person they are dealing with.  Similarly, a salesman will not express his heart very often if he wants to make a sale.

This is not always a bad thing.  We can’t often do what we want nor should we.  Jeremiah records God saying that the heart is desperately wicked and deceitful above all else and that no one but He can understand it (Jer. 17:9).

Jesus said that it was out of heart that all forms of wickedness arise (Matthew 15:18).  Paul and James talk about the flesh and the Spirit being in opposition so that you can’t do what you want to (Galatians 5:17, James 4:4-6).  At the end of Romans 7 Paul says the secret is to do what Jesus says which is the same as walking in the Spirit and not in the flesh.